He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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