wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
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If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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