i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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