So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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