What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
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I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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