I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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