Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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