you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize