Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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