I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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