Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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