Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
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My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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