You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize