is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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