Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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