A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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