I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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