worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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