I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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