U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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