I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
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Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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