Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize