i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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