I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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