he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize