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If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
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