Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?

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(703): If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count? http://tfl.nu/wecp

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(205): View more from Alabama

he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?

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(205): he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy? http://tfl.nu/nikx

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(661): View more from California

i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.

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(661): i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally. http://tfl.nu/2rgg

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(315): View more from New York

i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.

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(315): i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear. http://tfl.nu/94id

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(281): View more from Texas

I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.

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(281): I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/wpfj

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(720): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

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(720): Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him. http://tfl.nu/sxwx

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(740): View more from Ohio

he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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(740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.

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(973): He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come. http://tfl.nu/tnjb

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(513): View more from Ohio

you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one

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(513): you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one http://tfl.nu/cjl0

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.

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(978): My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me. http://tfl.nu/a4fn

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(240): View more from Maryland

Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.

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(240): Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me. http://tfl.nu/zpby

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?

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(703): Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible? http://tfl.nu/w9is

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair

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(401): She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair http://tfl.nu/x122

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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(215): I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands... http://tfl.nu/sf3a

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(248): View more from Michigan

No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.

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(248): No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again. http://tfl.nu/jvet

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