it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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