Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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