is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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