it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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