Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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