It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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