dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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