I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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