So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize