If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize