She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize