last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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