There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize