And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
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I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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