Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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