Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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