Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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