just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize