I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize