1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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