I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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