Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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