fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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