Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize